Welcome to the Better Sex Agony Aunt column. In this week’s edition of Better Sex former escort Tittiana Nilsson has joined us whilst Dr Annie Bliss is on holiday. Tittiana will be answering all you questions.
Our ﬁrst letter is from a lady who’s husband cheated on her but he will not admit it.
Dear Better Sex,
My husband has cheated on me but he just want admit it. When we ﬁrst got married he was really into dating escorts in London, and I thought he had stopped but he hasn’t. He is still dating london escorts and it seems like he can’t stop himself from seeing his “girls” as he calls them.
He says that escorts in london don’t have sex with you, they are just sexy companions. That might be true but I still feel really betrayed and I am so angry with him. I just want run out of our home, and slam the door in his face.
We have only been married for six months, and I just feel I am not good enough for him. I just don’t understand why he needs to date London escorts and what he gets out dating escorts in London .
It is very frustrating and I am thinking about telling his parents. I wonder if the rest of his family knows.
The problem is also that I have told some of my friends, I thought I could trust them but now they are just laughing behind my back. What should I do? My husband is older than I am.
Dear Young Wife,
I am sorry about all your problems. This is not your fault, so don’t for one minute blame yourself. It sounds like your husband has been dating london escorts for a long time, and has become addicted to dating london escorts.
I used to be an escort in London myself, and I was always anxious to please my dates, and this is often what gets them hooked. They keep coming back to you time and time again just because you make them feel special. And trust me, escorts are very good at making men feel special.
If your husband is older than you, this may be a real problem. It could be that he thought you would be this young sexy companion, just like many of his london escorts. And perhaps this is why he married you in the ﬁrst place.
Think back – was it a bit of whirlwind romance? If it was, it means that his attitude to your marriage is probably totally different and your expectations may not match his.
Escorts in London don’t mean to do you any harm nor does your husband, but he can’t just help himself. Perhaps you would be better to start again, and try to meet someone more compatible.
My advice to you would be to seek some professional legal guidance, or give your husband an ultimatum. He drops the london escorts and starts looking after you, or ends up in divorce court. It is up to him.
I hope you found some good advice in our column this week, and please feel free to right in with your personal and sex problems any time.
Being an adult doesn’t only mean that you’re able to support yourself independently. It’s also about making decisions and acting maturely. With that premise, what exactly does it mean to be mature?
· Able to distinguish over needs and wants – Knowing these will give you a sense of direction in everyday life.
· Knows how to handle stress – You should be familiar with what triggers stress in you and what helps in keeping your mind focused and optimistic.
· Knows the differences between priorities and conveniences – As Robert Frost wrote in his book, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by. And that made all the difference”. It’s always convenient to go with the flow or stay in your comfort zone, but there are times when you have to step out of it in order to change and reach your goals.
· Can manage frustrations, anger, and temper – Rather than raging at somebody over your frustrations, divert anger into energy and use it to drive yourself to change something that you do not like.
· Has a solid and effective decision-making system – How will you handle a dilemma? As an adult, you’ll know that bashing over a bad situation will often do no good. When given two choices or opportunities, you should be able to make informed-decisions and take responsibility on your actions.
· Self-aware on fears and weaknesses, as well as strongest skills and characteristics – Knowing yourself can be someone’s strongest armor against any problems.
· Knows that there’s a big difference between being interested on something from that of being committed to it – For example, many people say that’s they’re interested in a business venture but very few have the guts to truly implement those ideas and stay committed to growth.
In relationships, mature adults have the following traits:
· Able to control and manage jealousy or envy – There are instances that envy becomes a good motivational tool to improve yourself. However when used negatively to destroy other people, it often attaches itself to lies and insecurities.
· Able to differentiate between infatuation, addictions and love – Infatuation often turns you blind over someone’s true characteristics. There’s nothing wrong with knowing another person’s flaws, because with true love, you’ll accept these imperfections and enrich each other into better individuals.
· Knows that intimacy is not all about sex – It’s how much you know each other emotionally.
· Open to express feelings and frustrations in a constructive manner- You keep it mind that when you discuss negative emotions, the person you’re talking with has emotions as well.
· Listens to viewpoints of other people – You know that judging others before truly knowing them often leads to misunderstandings and contempt. Being attentive to other’s frustrations, opinions and ideas allows you to see what the true problem is.
Quote of the day
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim